Here are some of the daily doings of Plum and her owner.
Dear Plum, Lovely picture as usual but you should be more assertive. Mealtimes are ideal for asserting oneself as the humans are in a lower position, so try my signature technique. Launch yourself into the air with a vigorous spring. Plant all feet in the target's ribcage (they will say 'Ooof!'). It can then go either way: either general amused laughter and a generous titbit, or a lot of shouting. It's worth a go though. love, Katie xPS. Feel for me tomorrow. It's Claudia Schiffer's birthday and as we found out last year she doesn't stint on the fireworks. Help!
Dear KatieI hope you survived the fireworks. Thank you for the advice but the thing that was omitted from the picture above was the lead. We were all tied up in case we escaped onto the High Street - or, now I realise - in case we did decide to spring up onto the table and help ourselves to lunch. Another time, perhaps.Love Plum
Dear Plum Sometimes, do you not despair that these people we think we have trained to be worthy to share our lives continue to reveal their feet of clay? Number two in my supposedly adoring entourage, my (human) sister, has just appeared with a rude, squeaky, ignorant PUPPY who ran off with MY favourite toy, ate MY supper and slept on MY sofa. And the cooing....the photographing....the endless admiring discussion......I am in such a huff - and has anyone noticed??Yours in solidarityLove Fudge x
Oh, Fudge. I am so sorry. I can't imagine how dreadful you must be feeling. How insensitive! There are few things worse than seeing people drooling over puppies. To them, we are suddenly invisible. Our needs are simply forgotten - they forget to feed us, talk to us, walk us - even look at us. Please know that my thoughts are with you and I am willing you on, silently to get rid of the puppy. Any way you can. Use your influence. Teach it some terrible tricks and ensure that it and its mother won't be invited again until it's a normal and reasonable adult.Love from Plum